Angela, we miss you

The Way We Were, performed by Barbara Streisand

Mmm. Mmm.
Memories, light the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we give to one another
For the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then
Or has time rewritten every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me would we? Could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it's the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were.



Angela, you have been gone for one year, and we miss you dearly.

Vicki has never had a friend like you and she never will again. You were always there for her, and Vicki knew that she could share anything with you at any time. If she ever needed anything, you would come to San Diego from Arizona as soon as humanly possible, and she was always welcome to visit you in Arizona. I thought of the above song because both of us and our family have so many great memories of you and your wonderful family.

Funny memories: Vicki remembers how the two of you went on a cruise to Ensenada from California many years ago, and you ended up being situated with a large group of lesbians because the people who booked the cruise just assumed that you were one of them. The lesbians would see you together for meals and, noticing how you were so close, just assumed that you were lesbians, telling you, "Isn't it wonderful being a lesbian and sharing your innermost thoughts with another woman." You would tell them, no, we're not lesbians, and they would keep telling you, it's OK, you can come out of the closet now, we are your sisters and we are there for you. Finally, you and Vicki got tired of hearing it, and said to them, OK, you're right, we are lesbians, it's just hard for us to talk about. After that, you and Vicki had a great time hanging out with the sisters, and experiencing (from a distance) the joys of being a lesbian!

Memories of our kids' childhoods: Our kids remember hanging out with your kids, Bobbie and Stevie, from the time they were little, in Torrance. We had so much fun walking around the Torrance neighborhoods with enough candy to feed about twice as many kids, with your kids greeting every neighbor with the words, "Happy Halloween," and putting a smile on the face of everyone who met them. You and I and Vicki would walk, it seemed, for miles and enjoy watching such a cute group of kids having such a good time. Our kids got to know you so well that for some reason, they were always afraid of you (even though I can't remember your actually yelling at them no matter what they did.) I just think you had a commanding presence which immediately inspired the respect of everyone who met you.

Sad memories: Vicki flew to Phoenix on the date that you died and found that your extended family from California was crowded around you and down the hallway of your room in the hospice, to the point where, as she entered your room, Vicki felt that it was as if the Red Sea was parting for her. Everyone in your family told Vicki that Angela waited for Vicki to arrive before you passed, and when Vicki kissed you goodbye on your forehead, that you died soon thereafter. I cannot think of a more stirring goodbye that anyone could have, and I know that no one deserved it more than you.

You would be happy to know that we know have an old dog, Cookie, who follows Vicki everywhere and is her loyal companion, no matter what. She is always there for Vicki, she cries whenever Vicki is gone, even from the room, and she even sticks her paw up for Vicki to hold when she feels lonely. Vicki can take Cookie for walks first thing in the morning, when the weather is chilly, and the day is young, and she can enjoy a type of quiet companionship with her that she cannot have with anyone else, including me.

Angela, there will never be another one like you, and I really wish you could be back again, even for one moment, to share your life with us, and be there for Vicki.